Monthly Archives: October 2010

Seattle and San Fran

I’m heading out tomorrow to Seattle to give 4 different workshops at the La Leche conference in Redmond. And then on Monday, I leave for San Francisco to do a number of workshops and talks. Please check out my newsletter – http://www.bonnieharris.com/newsletter.html – to see details and contact information in the Upcoming schedule section. There are still openings in the workshops and there are two different talks open to the public. I’d love to see you there and tell your friends and relatives in the area.

One of the talks is on my most popular topic: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons, based on my book by the same name. The other is called Getting to the Root: Understanding What Your Child’s Behavior is Trying to Tell You. We all have this idea that behavior is either good or bad and if we react negatively to or punish bad behavior, it will motivate our children to behave better. When has that ever worked? Ever work on you? Not unless you were afraid of what would happen if you didn’t.

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Nature/Nurture

I had a really interesting dinner conversation the other night. A friend asked me what ratio I would put on the old nature/nurture argument. Everyone chipped in their opinions, and it led to a very lively discussion. Even though the topic was the content of my masters thesis, I hadn’t thought about how I would rate each side’s importance in a child’s life. I quite quickly said 40%/60% nature to nurture. Even though how a child is born—whether shy or outgoing, aggressive or calm, introverted or extroverted, learning disabled, neurologically, physically or mentally challenged, gay or straight, etc., etc.—has all to do with how a person perceives the world. But how the world perceives him or her has all to do with how confident that person becomes. Someone born with musical talent for instance, will have way more of a struggle in life reaching his potential if his personal world devalues artistic achievement than one with support and encouragement. A child with ADHD will have a far easier time in life if her environment understands her innate tendencies and gives

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