Comments for Bonnie Harris Connective Parenting http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress Understanding the discipline of Connective Parenting Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:26:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Comment on Misbehavior = Mis(taken)behavior by admin http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/misbehavior-mistakenbehavior/comment-page-1/#comment-14458 admin Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:26:50 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=70#comment-14458 Lori - This is not an issue to be very concerned about with a preschooler. This is his way of connecting with a child he wants to be with. He doesn't know any better yet—nor should he. Development will take care of it unless there are other issues going on I don't get from your comment. DO NOT punish him for this. It would be like telling him that he is bad for being shy. You will only increase stress. Punishment is NEVER okay and never teaches what we want to teach. You can talk with him but he is still very impulsive and will be for quite sometime. Especially if the other boy's mother doesn't care, you should not either. Lori – This is not an issue to be very concerned about with a preschooler. This is his way of connecting with a child he wants to be with. He doesn’t know any better yet—nor should he. Development will take care of it unless there are other issues going on I don’t get from your comment. DO NOT punish him for this. It would be like telling him that he is bad for being shy. You will only increase stress. Punishment is NEVER okay and never teaches what we want to teach. You can talk with him but he is still very impulsive and will be for quite sometime. Especially if the other boy’s mother doesn’t care, you should not either.

]]> Comment on Does Whining Drive You Crazy?! by admin http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/does-whining-drive-you-crazy/comment-page-1/#comment-14454 admin Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:02:10 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=100#comment-14454 So glad Shea. And how great you can make the shift and have her respond. But the fact that it feels better to you is what counts. So glad Shea. And how great you can make the shift and have her respond. But the fact that it feels better to you is what counts.

]]> Comment on Misbehavior = Mis(taken)behavior by Lori http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/misbehavior-mistakenbehavior/comment-page-1/#comment-14453 Lori Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:58:38 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=70#comment-14453 I'm very concerned about my son who is in preschool. He's infactuated with another boy in school and at times he will embrace this boy and not let go. He thinks it's funny but the teachers are concerned that one of them will get hurt if they fall. My son says that he likes this boy and that is why he does it. Now the teachers use a picture of a traffic light and when he doesn't listen and tackles this boy, he gets a red light or at times will go in a chair in a corner. Today I took one of his favorites toys away and told him that he needs to listen to his teachers and not tackle his friend. All along I've been talking with him and tried role playing as well as see a child counselor. I feel there's an underlying reason why he's doing this. I can tell he has anxiety in school because he chews his sleeve. The friend he has is very shy and that's why he's comfortable with him. His friend's mom is not concerned and thinks it's just a phase. We've had playdates at our house which goes very well. I'm slightly annoyed that the school doesn't see what I see. Tomorrow I will observe and then tell them to help him connect with other boys. I hope that's the answer. My other thought is to let it go and not punish him in school or at home. Anyone ever encounter this issue? I’m very concerned about my son who is in preschool. He’s infactuated with another boy in school and at times he will embrace this boy and not let go. He thinks it’s funny but the teachers are concerned that one of them will get hurt if they fall. My son says that he likes this boy and that is why he does it. Now the teachers use a picture of a traffic light and when he doesn’t listen and tackles this boy, he gets a red light or at times will go in a chair in a corner. Today I took one of his favorites toys away and told him that he needs to listen to his teachers and not tackle his friend. All along I’ve been talking with him and tried role playing as well as see a child counselor. I feel there’s an underlying reason why he’s doing this. I can tell he has anxiety in school because he chews his sleeve. The friend he has is very shy and that’s why he’s comfortable with him. His friend’s mom is not concerned and thinks it’s just a phase. We’ve had playdates at our house which goes very well. I’m slightly annoyed that the school doesn’t see what I see. Tomorrow I will observe and then tell them to help him connect with other boys. I hope that’s the answer. My other thought is to let it go and not punish him in school or at home. Anyone ever encounter this issue?

]]> Comment on Does Whining Drive You Crazy?! by Shea http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/does-whining-drive-you-crazy/comment-page-1/#comment-14452 Shea Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:57:43 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=100#comment-14452 Bonnie, This is so helpful. Thank you. I hear myself resist the whining, and it actually just sounds like I am whining when I do that! I love having some concrete actions to take in the face of a sound that I find so unbearable at times. It is true - when I recognize it for what it is - I love this: stuck crying - I have gone towards my daughter with an open heart, loving words and compassion, and it almost instantly shifts her voice tone and the tone of the moment. It just feels better too. Thank you, always, Shea Bonnie,
This is so helpful. Thank you. I hear myself resist the whining, and it actually just sounds like I am whining when I do that! I love having some concrete actions to take in the face of a sound that I find so unbearable at times. It is true – when I recognize it for what it is – I love this: stuck crying – I have gone towards my daughter with an open heart, loving words and compassion, and it almost instantly shifts her voice tone and the tone of the moment. It just feels better too.
Thank you, always,
Shea

]]> Comment on 5 Building Blocks to Raising Resilient Children by admin http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/5-building-blocks-to-raising-resilient-children/comment-page-1/#comment-14447 admin Wed, 04 Apr 2012 01:04:17 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=76#comment-14447 Mark - Please share some of your thoughts here. Mark – Please share some of your thoughts here.

]]> Comment on 5 Building Blocks to Raising Resilient Children by mark http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/5-building-blocks-to-raising-resilient-children/comment-page-1/#comment-14446 mark Tue, 03 Apr 2012 02:32:10 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=76#comment-14446 HI Bonnie I like where youre coming from in this blog. I'd be interested in guest blogging here and bringing the deep nature connection background to this conversation, if youre interested. Mark www.ifnaturallearning.com www.markmorey.com HI Bonnie I like where youre coming from in this blog. I’d be interested in guest blogging here and bringing the deep nature connection background to this conversation, if youre interested.

Mark

http://www.ifnaturallearning.com

http://www.markmorey.com

]]> Comment on The Perils of Replacing Play with Homework by Beth http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/the-perils-of-replacing-play-with-homework/comment-page-1/#comment-14401 Beth Tue, 13 Mar 2012 01:07:16 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=93#comment-14401 I finally pulled my kids out of school in December out of exasperation, mostly over homework. It was compromising my relationship with my daughter. I had changed schools this year because we were arranging our lives around homework for my 1st and 2nd graders. There was no time for anything except 1 ballet class per week, if they were to get to bed by 8:00. But it was no different, except at the new school the assignments weren't even interesting. I teach all day, then had to come home and pull a second shift. Now I just quit my job. Alas my husband wants them back and school - and 1 girl misses it - but I can't fight with teachers 20 hrs a week over homework and then help kids 20 hrs a week doing homework, and work full time, and run a house. I have had enough of this. I wonder who are these parents who want their young kids doing this? My kids are so happy right now, and learning so much at home... I am so sorry they are going back to school. I finally pulled my kids out of school in December out of exasperation, mostly over homework. It was compromising my relationship with my daughter. I had changed schools this year because we were arranging our lives around homework for my 1st and 2nd graders. There was no time for anything except 1 ballet class per week, if they were to get to bed by 8:00. But it was no different, except at the new school the assignments weren’t even interesting. I teach all day, then had to come home and pull a second shift. Now I just quit my job. Alas my husband wants them back and school – and 1 girl misses it – but I can’t fight with teachers 20 hrs a week over homework and then help kids 20 hrs a week doing homework, and work full time, and run a house. I have had enough of this. I wonder who are these parents who want their young kids doing this? My kids are so happy right now, and learning so much at home… I am so sorry they are going back to school.

]]> Comment on The Perils of Replacing Play with Homework by admin http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/the-perils-of-replacing-play-with-homework/comment-page-1/#comment-14400 admin Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:40:16 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=93#comment-14400 Hi Toni - Wouldn't it be an amazing world if our kids never had homework, could use that time connecting with their families, and do their work through highly engaging projects and hands-on activities. Go Alfie Kohn (author of The Homework Myth: How Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing). Hi Toni – Wouldn’t it be an amazing world if our kids never had homework, could use that time connecting with their families, and do their work through highly engaging projects and hands-on activities. Go Alfie Kohn (author of The Homework Myth: How Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing).

]]> Comment on The Perils of Replacing Play with Homework by toni gildone http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/the-perils-of-replacing-play-with-homework/comment-page-1/#comment-14395 toni gildone Sun, 11 Mar 2012 23:35:50 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=93#comment-14395 I agree one hundred percent on this. I have long campaigned for less homework. I think even in grades higher than 3rd children would benefit so much more by being given the freedom to use the skills they are learning in every day life projects and activities. My husband and I bit our tongues this winter when our 12 year old was stuck remaining inside to complete homework tasks rather than being outside, using the measuring and geometry skills she had learned to help build the barn for her pony to move into. I agree one hundred percent on this. I have long campaigned for less homework. I think even in grades higher than 3rd children would benefit so much more by being given the freedom to use the skills they are learning in every day life projects and activities. My husband and I bit our tongues this winter when our 12 year old was stuck remaining inside to complete homework tasks rather than being outside, using the measuring and geometry skills she had learned to help build the barn for her pony to move into.

]]> Comment on Grief and Loss by sevanne http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/grief-and-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-14373 sevanne Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:19:28 +0000 http://bonnieharris.com/wordpress/?p=87#comment-14373 All of us have such fond memories of Tucker, the boys of being greeted, drooled on and knocked over with love and Paul and I of being greeted and watching with joy and trust from across the room as Tucker loved our kids. Thank you Tucker. Goodbye. Thank you Bonnie. All of us have such fond memories of Tucker, the boys of being greeted, drooled on and knocked over with love and Paul and I of being greeted and watching with joy and trust from across the room as Tucker loved our kids. Thank you Tucker. Goodbye. Thank you Bonnie.

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