Lessons our Children Bring Us
The more we are able to drop into the present moment with a child and accept whatever is being presented, the more we come to understand, appreciate, and cherish what makes this child unique and special. No matter what the outward behavior, it is the inward psyche, the core of who your child is that is reaching out to be heard, accepted, and appreciated.
It is a principle that I live and teach by that each child is born perfect. Each child comes to us with lessons to teach us that if we are open to learn, can help us grow as we help our children grow.
There may be behavioral worries, physical, emotional, or neurological issues our children present, but what matters most is the inner core of who they are and what they are bringing to this life. When we get too caught up in the external, we lose sight of the internal. Can you watch through the concerning behavior, penetrate the outward appearance that most of the world focuses on, to see the being of your child rather than the doing? It’s our fears that cause our reactions to the doing that will interfere with and throw the being off balance. that’s when troubling behavior appears.
Perhaps what is needed is a letting go of the expectations you came to parenting with, the promises a child would bring you, the picture you saw yourself in with adoring, well-behaved progeny. Our children bring us lessons we didn’t intend and are not prepared for. It’s how we respond to those lessons—whether we see them as imperfections in our children to be “nipped in the bud” or as a wakeup call to look at why we react the way we do—that make or break us as effective parents.
Can you accept the child you have and let go of the child you may have wished for? Or do you feel determined to create the child you want? Hear in lies the lesson of acceptance. And it is acceptance that your child needs even more than love. For it is impossible not to love the child you accept but easy to love a child you do not accept. Acceptance is the key.