Have Bonnie speak at your event

~ For an evening talk, conference workshop, staff development workshop, seminar or consultation — here are some of Bonnie’s most popular topics. Others available upon request to suit your event and interest.

Email bh@bonnieharris.com or call 603-924-6639

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons

A certain look, a defiant act, your child “pushes your buttons”, and you say things you swore you never would. Blame, regret, shame—does this “spinning out of control” action/reaction cycle sound familiar? Effective parenting is achieved when we connect with our children, understand what their behavior is trying to tell us, and end the parenting “road rage” to give our children the help they may really be asking for. This highly respected parent educator, international speaker, and author of the acclaimed When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It (voted one of the top 10 parenting books by the New York Post) will help you discover what your buttons are, where they come from, why your children push them and how to defuse them so you can regain your authority, your sanity, and your children’s cooperation and respect.
You will learn:

  • How to understand behavior and its meaning from a new view point
  • Why our reactions have less to do with the child and all to do with our ideas
  • Understanding agendas — both yours and your child’s
  • How we send unintended messages across the Gap to our child
  • Setting your expectations for success instead of failure

This is a 2 hour talk for parents and serves as a great introduction to the full workshop. For the full parent workshop, Click here ». For the professional certification training, Click here »

Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With: The 8 Principles of Connective Parenting

Imagine suddenly looking at your children differently, more realistically. The 8 Principles of Connective Parenting represent a fundamental shift in understanding and handling children’s behavior so that we can get out of own fears and agendas and parent them the way they need—and the way we always wanted. Children really do want to please us no matter what. Learn what gets in their way and what we can do about it. Perception shift is all it takes to follow what you know is right. Instead of thinking that my child is being a problem, I understand that she is having a problem. Once connection is made, problem solving, not punishment, can be used to teach true accountability.

Unconditional acceptance is what our children need. But how do we give it while still setting limits and ensuring family balance? Based on her book Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With, Bonnie’s approach helps parents connect even in the toughest times, and guides them through problem-solving to be accountable for their actions—all without punishment or blame. And regain the authority and the confidence your children need you to have.

This can be a 2 hour talk (some of the principles) or up to a 16 hour parent workshop or professional training. See Parent Workshops » Presented in two parts:

Part One: Understanding your child’s intentions and behavior
Providing Acceptance—your child’s greatest need
Expectations must be set for success
The power of connection and mindful focus
Part Two: Connective communication
Problem Solving
Conflict Resolution
Boundaries and balance

From Defiance to Cooperation: Teaching Responsibility without Punishment or Blame

When children “misbehave”, they are not being a problem; they are having a problem. This 180º switch in perception can change your parenting life, promote connection, and encourage trust and cooperation. This workshop will help you make that switch. When we blame or punish our children’s behavior, we increase that problem and set them up for defensive behavior. Learn why punishment and arbitrary consequences provoke the behavior we least want and create disconnect in our relationships. Learn the skill of problem solving to guide your children toward thinking for themselves, making good choices, solving problems, and taking responsibility for their actions.

This can be a 4 or 6 hour parent workshop or professional training.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Getting a New Perspective on Your Child’s Behavior

Ever wonder where your child came up with his behavior or those words? Does it seem like nothing you do stops the behavior you hate? Does her behavior exhaust you? Your child is trying to tell you something but doesn’t know how except with behavior. When children think that you just don’t get it, their behavior has to get louder and more dramatic to get you to pay attention. This workshop will teach you the meaning of Childology and how to shift your perspective on their actions and words so that you can connect instead of react. You will learn the steps of Connective Communication so your child learns how to say what she means instead of reacting dramatically and so peace can be restored in your family.

This can be a 2 hour talk or 4 hour parent workshop or professional training.

Managing Siblings with Sanity

Our children can so easily draw us in with their fighting and bickering. We want peace and our children to get along. Too often, we get in the way and try to fix problems that belong to them. This workshop will help you to step out of the referee role and into the coach. Your job is to teach your children to work out their problems instead of trying to do it for them—often with anger and punishment. Learn how The Triangle Game sucks you into the fray and sets you up as judge and jury. When you learn the skill of conflict resolution, you can stay emotionally objective while helping your children with skills to work out problems for the rest of their lives.

This is a 2 hour talk but could be expanded to a 4-5 hour parent workshop.

“Eat your peas or no dessert!”: Creating the Hearthstone of the Family—Dinnertime

Struggles over food lie at the heart of parenthood. Nutrition is number one on the parent’s job description. When children don’t eat the way we think they should, we panic. Eating disorders, obesity, and food addictions are epidemic in our culture. Learn the most important skills of providing good nutrition for your children and setting up healthy eating patterns for life—without talking about food.
You will learn:

  • How to avoid food resistance, cravings for desert, bad table manners
  • How to set the table and the family meal to be free of arguments
  • How to engage children in their own nutrition

This is a two hour talk.