Tag Archives: Rewards

4 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in School

Of course, you want your children to succeed in school. You do all you can to manage getting their best. But what really is your job? Is it to insure good grades, getting involved in the right sports and extra-curriculars, and diligently doing their homework? If so how involved do you get? And what do you do if they don’t meet your expectations?

Do you know that all your best intentions can undermine your child’s school success and desire to learn?

Children are natural learners. We come evolved to soak up all the learning we can — until it becomes a requirement. Remember when your toddler kept asking you why? until you wanted to scream? How is she doing now in the curiosity department?

Here are four key aspects to help you help your children succeed in school:

1.      Stay Out of It

This makes parenting so much easier, gives you more time for connection, and hands over the responsibility they need to learn. But it’s hard give up managing your kids’ school lives and work, especially if your definition of success isn’t happening.

read more
Is your child being punished by rewards?

The school year has only just begun. It’s a time when children are excited to return to school, see their friends, meet their new teachers and feel really good about being a year older. Right? Not for all.

I received an email from a mother who said her son shoved his homework into his backpack all ripped up, said he doesn’t care or give a s*#t about his homework. She explained that the school has a color system for behavior—green, yellow, blue, and red (wonder what the blue means). Everyday her son comes home and tells her, I was good today or I was bad today.

Most schools have some form of behavior management program in place. Using punishment to manage behavior has much research supporting its ineffectiveness and shows that it can be counterproductive. In lieu of punishment techniques, many schools have taken to reward systems. The problem is that students who miss out on the rewards again and again, feel punished and resentful of the students who get them.

I’m sure that the administration and faculty of any school wants to keep as much order as possible so that the children can learn and do well. When hundreds of children are under the same roof, the fear of chaos and out of control behavior looms, the adults are responsible for all the children’s safety and learning, etc., etc., etc. However, as I see it, the children are the consumers in the business of education, and schools need to serve the consumer.

read more