Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids
“Bonnie Harris has written a truly informative, practical book that will serve as an invaluable resource for parents and professionals alike. She has skillfully described eight key principles that parents can follow as they raise their children to be more confident, responsible, and resilient. Through real-life stories she offers realistic examples of ways of practicing these principles and dealing with situations that all parents face. She educates us with empathy, compassion, and humor. She is to be commended for writing such an impressive book.”
—Robert Brooks, Ph.D., Faculty Harvard Medical School
Co-author of Raising Resilient Children and Raising a Self-Disciplined Child
“Bonnie Harris has the uncanny gift of being able to put herself in both a parent’s and a child’s shoes. In Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids, she wears both, with empathy and wisdom. In a sea of parenting books, this onestands out like a beacon. Her powerful insights rise above the noise, typical quick-fixes and how-to tactics, and offer a rare two-way mirror for parents and children to truly see each other and connect. For life.”
—Lu Hanessian, author of acclaimed memoir Let the Baby Drive: Navigating the Road of New Motherhood and host of Make Room for Baby, Discovery Health Channel
“Ms. Harris has done it again. Beginning with that most elusive of approaches—utter respect for the child for the child’s insides, mixed with curiosity about how he ticks—she opens doors for a new way of thinking about being a parent. Imagine beginning with the idea that the child actually wants to succeed, and then creating responses that support what the child already wants! Revolutionary. The crumpled-dollar-bill story is worth the price of admission to this remarkable book. Here is a parenting book that treats parents as grownups, treats children as not insane, and extolls the virtues of adult self-doubt. Mrs. Harris is right, of course: Since the beginning of time, doubt has been a prerequisite for understanding. Why not in parenting, as well?
What an imminently practical book! Parenting can never be reduced to sound bites, but there are some zingers herein. If we only tried a couple—putting periods at the end of our parenting sentences (to keep us from droning on), and not asking so many questions (so we might have a chance to see things the way the child sees them)—the world would be changed.”
—Michael Trout, Director of The Infant-Parent Institute
“This is a book, which at one level is difficult to read, and at another level, a very easy book to grasp. The difficult part is that it explicitly, and at times, brutally, reminds me of all the times that I missed the boat when my kids were growing up. OUCH!! How I wish I had such a guide when I was a young parent! The easy part, at least for me, is the message that comes through loud and clear, one that is a real touchstone for effective parenting: Children are NOT problems, but rather, they HAVE problems, that our task is to uncover these problems, and to come up with solutions. This is a dense book with a lot of material in it, and I hope that the public, both parents, and professionals who work with families and their kids, will incorporate that material into their pursuit of the skills that go into becoming a "Confident Parent". And though dense, the book is very readable. I particularly enjoyed the rich use of analogies; for example, children’s problems, like the weeds in the garden, are dealt with effectively by getting at the roots, not yanking on the leaves and stalks.Also, I applaud the constant reminder that parents must learn the temperament traits that make each child so unique, and sometimes, so challenging. In summary, a rich book, loaded with accessible information, carefully chosen examples that illustrate how to better understand the various problems that we all experience in our child rearing, and thoughtfully constructed solutions to those problems.”
—Elvin Kaplan MD Assistant Professor of Pediatrics and of Community and Family Medicine, Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center
“Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids underscores the value of the relationship between the parent and the child. A core love-based philosophy is given to help children develop their own internal sense of control, instead of using external parental controls that only breed fear, stress, and resentment. Bonnie Harris sheds light on how to bridge the gap between negative behaviors and a positive parent/child relationship. Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids is must have parenting handbook on how to return back to the essence of parenting: love, safety, understanding, and connection.
This book shows what we’ve known all along: Quick fix fear-based parenting techniques are never worth sacrificing a child’s internal sense of self. The author offers a loving way to maintain boundaries while giving children unconditional love.
—Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control
“If you read just one parenting book this year, make it be Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids. Bonnie’s 8 Principles of Confident Parenting are easily applied to just about every situation, from mealtime struggles to bedtime arguments. Easy to read, with bulleted summaries and practical exercises at the end ofeach chapter, this book is sure to enhance, tweak, and improve every family’s relationship. Bonnie speaks to parentsin an understanding and honest manner, opening up to her readers withstories abouther struggles with own children. A must-read for parents who are looking for practical and empathic ways to deepen their connection with their children.”
—Karen B. Walant, Ph.D., author of Creating the Capacity for Attachment, Board Member of Attachment Parenting International, and private practitioner.