Tag Archives: acceptance

The Power of Acceptance

All parents struggle with fears and worries about their children and many end up just getting in their own way. When you take your children’s behavior personally and use your authority to control them to do what you want, you may wind up creating the scenario you most fear.

The problem comes when we think it’s our children who need to change when indeed it is us. Whatever you need to do to get to acceptance is the answer.

The following is a story from one of my clients that I find truly inspiring. Her struggles to understand her son and ultimately herself have led to a wonderful relationship. I hope it motivates you to trust your children and let go of a small bit of your fears. You will always have fears and doubts — you wouldn’t be a conscientious parent without them. But in the moment, when your child needs your connection, you must be able to at least temporarily put those fears aside.

Reflections on my journey with my son – Mother of three

I am enjoying a playful moment in the kitchen with my 6’6, 17 year old son. He likes to get in my space and see if he can startle me with his big teenage energy. I get flustered and cry out, “You make me feel anxious when you do that!” He smiles with this gentle warmth and looking right in my eyes​ ​he says lovingly​, “​Mum, it’s not what I do​ that makes you feel anxious. It’s what you ​think​ about what I do.”

read more
Have You Accepted the Child You’ve Got?

Acceptance of your child is the single most important factor in insuring your child’s self-confidence and strength of will to resist the negative influences we spend so much time worrying about. Acceptance is often a hard concept for parents to get because it sounds as if we’re supposed to accept everything our child does—and that’s just not good parenting.

It’s easiest to think about acceptance through your own experience. Did you feel accepted for who you are or did you think that your parents would love you more or be prouder of you if you were different, more like your brother, got better grades, excelled at sports—just simply someone else? Did you feel accepted or approved of only when you behaved a certain way, felt a certain way? And did feelings of rejection (unintended on your parent’s part yet perceived on your part) cause you to pull back or try to be different? You probably can’t answer this because these changes are very subtle and slow to adapt.

“People stop showing the parts of themselves that have been rejected, trying to tuck away these traits in order to survive,” says Nancy Rose in her new book, Raise the Child You’ve Got—Not the One You Want. Nancy explains that, “As parents, we create stories about our children….The story comes out of our perception of who our child is, based on reality, but heavily influenced by our beliefs about ourselves and the world. The story we’re creating then becomes our reality, and our perspective narrows.”

read more
Lessons our Children Bring Us

Lessons our Children Bring Us

The more we are able to drop into the present moment with a child and accept whatever is being presented, the more we come to understand, appreciate, and cherish what makes this child unique and special. No matter what the outward behavior, it is the inward psyche, the core of who your child is that is reaching out to be heard, accepted, and appreciated.

It is a principle that I live and teach by that each child is born perfect. Each child comes to us with lessons to teach us that if we are open to learn, can help us grow as we help our children grow.

There may be behavioral worries, physical, emotional, or neurological issues our children present, but what matters most is the inner core of who they are and what they are bringing to this life. When we get too caught up in the external, we lose sight of the internal. Can you watch through the concerning behavior, penetrate the outward appearance that most of the world focuses on, to see the being of your child rather than the doing? It’s our fears that cause our reactions to the doing that will interfere with and throw the being off balance. that’s when troubling behavior appears.

read more