Creating Parent-Child Relationships that Last a Lifetime
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Connective Parenting Changes Everything
Hi, I‘m Bonnie Harris, parenting and child behavior specialist. The everyday trenches of parenting my own children taught me that our children are fine — until we get in their way with our expectations and fears.
It took me awhile to learn to listen instead of doing what I had been taught all my life. But when I got there, my relationships with my children changed for the better and never turned back.
This is the foundation of Connective Parenting—letting go of old habits so we can communicate with our kids in a way that feels good, that feels right, so the whole family can be more peaceful and connected.
What Parents Are Saying
"My words are trivial compared to the impact your book has had on me and my family. My self-concept as a parent has shifted and my ability to manage my buttons has grown. We are enjoying each other at a level I have never experienced with them."
"Your thoughtful approach to teaching the reframing techniques allows us to feel better as parents and BE better parents, and to take control and responsibility for our own behavior. We need to be in control and you gave us the tools to do that. THANK YOU."
~ Wellesley Women’s Forum
"I just wanted you to know that you have influenced yet another parent to reframe her perspective. Thank you for putting so much of your experience and guidance down in writing."
~ mother of two boys
"Bonnie is so dynamic and entertaining to listen to - I really can't get enough. You painted a picture with your examples and explain your principles very well."
"They tell you that there's no guide for being a good parent, but that's not true. It's Bonnie."
~ Father of 7, 10, 11 and 13 yr. olds
"My 9 year old and I have a much better relationship. We are better able to communicate and actually think about the other person.
~ mother of a 9 and a 2 yr. old
"This has been the equivalent of a chiropractic realignment of my parenting spine. You hit it right on the head with “you didn't mean he darn well better respect me, you meant, he darn well better obey me.”
~ Mother of 14 and 16 yr. olds
"Thank you, thank you! I feel so much relief, as a great weight has been lifted--the weight of my worry, powerlessness, shame, and despair. I feel so much more grounded as a parent and I'm feeling all the ripple effects of this--greater ease, enjoyment, and connection with my girl."
~ Mother of seven year old
"Every family could use a little Bonnie now and then! My husband and I first came to Bonnie looking for help with our spirited child. Throughout our struggles and joys, Bonnie has helped us to understand the interpersonal dynamics in our family and given us useful practical advice. "
~ mother of two
"Bonnie Harris is a powerful voice of reason, rhyme and guts. We need to stop seeing parenting as something that parents endure and start taking into account that parenting implies relationship, not a set of rules that little people better follow or else. "
~ a mother and author
"The information you have to share is so eye opening for so many of us. Many parents I spoke to left feeling like they wanted to hear more from you – and I told them to buy a book! Your work is making families happier, stronger, and kinder."
~ event organizer, Philadelphia
"Someone called and left a message saying WHEN YOUR KIDS PUSH YOUR BUTTONS is the best parenting book he ever read and that everyone in his parenting group had read it!
~ my editor at Warner Books
"To be able to understand, sympathize, and help your child is a gift that every parent and child deserves."
~ mother of three girls
What Would You Like To Change About Life With Your Children? I Can Help.
What do I do when my kids are driving me crazy?
How do I stop reacting?
How can I get my kids to listen?
Your child screams out that you are stupid and demands that you leave him alone. Your teen responds to your well-intended piece of advice with an eye-roll and a ‘Whatever.’ Your preschooler is having her fourth mammoth meltdown of the day over a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. You can’t seem to get your kids to even brush their teeth when they are told to. And so you lose it. You blow up at them, releasing your pent-up emotions just like they do. You have to get them to change somehow, right? You are not alone. It happens to the most well-meaning parents … Continue
When choice of activity with children is intended to create a bond, the activity must be something the child is interested in, and it happens at a time when the parent can give undivided attention to the child and the activity. For bonding or connection to occur, the child must be invested and engaged in the activity rather than coerced into doing what the parent thinks would be fun. It’s best when the child is proficient at the activity and can be the leader or teacher of the parent. If the activity is something both child and parent enjoy, the parent must simply have fun and refrain from giving tips to the child for improvement … Continue